I stumbled upon the blog of a 22-year-old girl suffering from leukemia. She has a fervent desire to keep on living. She wants to be allowed to take part in the future.
If I have a terminal illness, would I also want to fight to live? I don't currently have much zest for my own life, pampered and comfortable as it is. Certainly, there are times when I relish it (such as during my mission trip this past summer), but I often also want it to be over with. Sometimes, I think the only reason I keep on living is that, were I to die, my mother would be devastated, and I wish to spare her this.
I think it is because I am easily worried and can't even handle the small uncertainties life brings. Or I am too ungrateful toward God, the one who gave me this life.
Or maybe I am just in a bad mood right now as I write this entry.
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